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I am 44 years old, Married to Sean for 19 years and have 3 lovely children Hope is 14, Jack is 10 and Joe is 5.

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Only a small cut......

....makes or breaks things...when you're a leg amputee.

Often there's no reason it's happened, nothing's changed, you've put your leg on like you did the day before, you use the same lotions and potions, do the same activities and yet....when you take the leg off it looks like someone's been at it with a cheese grater (and one of those cheapo ones too so they're even sharper ;-) 

In reality the only way it heals is leaving the leg off. Errrr not possible with a nearly-one-year-old, two big kids and an active job. Ha, forget the optional extras like going to the gym. The thoughts of going to pick the cat dishes up to feed them makes you wince just thinking about it, not to mention lugging a 11kg baby on your other hip!! This isn't being dramatic either, it's just REALITY. 

The most frustrating thing is the quick change. From being able to be so active to being so incapacitated literally overnight. I KNOW it's my own fault too as I dared say to the osteopath yesterday how difficult it must be, physically and psychologically, for those with a progressive,  changing impairment as 'mine is pretty static and I know what I'm dealing with' - famous last words.

People always suggest plasters, padding, dressings etc and this is a good idea but from years of experience I've found they have to be small enough to be able to get on the awkward shaped end of the residual limb, sticky enough to stay in place in the warm, damp environment BUT not too sticky that they rip the rest of the skin off around them on removal OR disintegrate over the course of the day. Padded enough to provide some cushioning but not too padded that you can't get the intimately fitting liner over the top! So, yes, a minefield in other words! Off back to the chemist and docs shortly looking for solutions. 

I guess the only thing I can liken it to is a popped blister on your heel where your shoe has rubbed and the skin is red raw then you STILL have to wear the same shoe, with no added protection. Errrrr x 10 :-) 

It does worry me because as times goes on, with, dare I say it....AGE (OMG yes I am FORTY this winter!) the flesh and muscle lessens and the skin thinner, no matter what you do, therefore the bone protrudes quite a lot. And there's NOTHING you can do about it. 

So, you may say, get used to it, it's life as a leg amputee and the reality is these times will become more and more frequent over the years. Well it is easier said than done because you DO get on with life, manage, have an equilibrium of what you are able and are not able to do, then POW out of the blue, not anymore. You have to rethink your activities, how you'll get places, even seemingly simple things like walking the children round to school from the car park. It makes you frustrated and cross. I know it won't be forever, this is short lived and there are of course people far worse off but 'bad leg days' STINK.

Oh well at least I actually sit down for once, with sleeping baby on lap and actually have chance to update this blog on my iPhone! 

Thankfully I have such a good other half and friends who take some the stress away.

I was listening to a great radio show the other day with an ex marine injured in The Falklands who picked  Chumbawumba's 'I get knocked down and I get up again' as his final song choice. Brilliant! It's definately my new mantra!