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I am 44 years old, Married to Sean for 19 years and have 3 lovely children Hope is 14, Jack is 10 and Joe is 5.

Monday, 31 December 2012

As a new year beckons

I have neglected my blog for far too long but life has somewhat taken over shall we say. One of my resolutions for 2013 is to give it more attention, maybe having the added bonus of it being a real catharsis when I do write it.

I can quite honestly say 2012 has probably been the worst year I can remember since 1992/3 (nothing to do with turning 40 of course ;-) . When I was diagnosed with cancer, underwent all the treatment and subsequently discovered it had all been unnecessary, due to a wrong diagnosis. Or 1996 when I finally had my leg amputated.

This year, as well as the usual struggles, stresses and strains, that come with daily life, a family and running a business. There have been far too many hospital visits and stays for our immediate and extended family, culminating with 6 year old Jack having surgery for a badly broken arm at the beginning of December.

Sadly once again we have repeatedly been let down by the NHS, not even just the usual inefficiencies and waits but lies, incompetences and much more.

In amongst that however we have met and been supported by some fabulous nurses and consultants who as they say 'have gone above and beyond'. Sadly they have not 'restored the faith' but reminded us of the human element of this system.

The past 6 months with Mum's hospital stay and subsequent death, after a very traumatic spell in intensive care has pushed us all to the the limit at one point or other. Being part of and waiting for lengthy investigations to take place has been a living hell

To have her so cruelly taken was heartbreaking. I cannot describe though the swell of pride I felt for my most amazing role model, as I delivered her eulogy in her village church where there was barely standing room left. Or when I watched my father accept the degree posthumously on her behalf that she so very nearly finished.

One thing she would have been exceptionally proud of is how close it has brought my Dad, Brother and I. We have pulled together through this nightmare and are starting to come out the other side. Things will NEVER be the same without her and it is hard not to feel bitter and angry standing in a cemetery, in the pouring rain, whilst placing a tinsel covered wreath made by three little children who miss her terribly.

This couldn't have been done either without our other halves quietly propping us up throughout it all.

I also give thanks to those friends who have provided what we have needed, when we have needed it, often when we have not even known what it was! A card, a hug, a casserole, child care, a costa coffee!!! And as for those who haven't, well as they say people come and go eh, even those you least expect.

I must move into the New Year bearing in mind a quotation from the book 'The Life of Pi' ' “Things don’t turn out the way they were supposed to, but what can you do? You must take life the way it comes at you and make the best of it.’’

Here's wishing you all a very happy and healthy 2013, with the strength to face all that life throws at us.