The Reality of being treated for Breast Cancer - Part 9 - Days 9-11 Post Chemo

As seems to be the pattern I have felt better and better as the week has gone on. Ha, even the students I saw on Friday noticed the improvement since Wednesday (subtly conveyed of course ;-) I've enjoyed being back at work and have been very busy, so thankfully no time to dwell on things.

The main problem I've been battling against is where my line exits is sore and not only that, for about 3 days post flush it's been sore under the skin too, as if bruised. I have been on antibiotics all week but this doesn't seem to have shifted the problem - maybe not the right drugs....

It is a worry as problems with it can delay chemo but we'll cross those bridges if they arise. I keep thinking each day I need to go back and get it checked, as it's oozing again tonight, tomorrow may be that day.

Another frustrating aspect is that I feel 'well', then as soon as I start to do anything, whether teaching or walking around the shops I have the most awful head and neck sweats, where I'm literally dripping onto my collar :-/ and get really breathless. I was told by the oncologist that these are chemo side effects. The state of me when I was teaching this afternoon, goodness knows what people would have thought!!

As you start to feel better and more like yourself it's hard as you know you're shortly going to have to go back and be made so poorly again. My rational mind knows 'needs must' and that it all means it's one step closer to this brutal treatment being over and preparing for the Mastectomy. More appointments scheduled too over the weeks to come with my Oncologist, Breast Care Nurse, Breast Surgeon. Scans and weekly line flushes, blood tests and counselling for Jack.

So the world keeps turning and as has also been the pattern, our friends and family continue to be so hugely supportive, with everything from meals to childcare, gifts, cards and flowers. Yet again I really cannot express how this is all helping us to continue with 'life as we know it'. The children are finding it hard, so any semblance of their normality is a bonus. Jack started counselling this week as we really don't know how to help him sometimes to deal with his feelings and worries. I'm hoping and praying it helps for him to talk to someone who is not emotionally connected. Hope took the brave decision to stay at school whilst I was in for chemo and for the following few days. A mature attitude from a 15 year old, who could recognise what she could and could not deal with. Thankfully school have been helpful and accommodating beyond measure and I know she will be well looked after and thankfully has a great connection with staff. It is heartbreaking for me though..... Cancer is never easy for anyone and sometimes (both during this experience and the last) I think it's almost harder to watch someone you love go through this and be unable to do anything to take it away.

I will keep on keeping on.

The Reality of being treated for Breast Cancer - Part 8 - Day 7 post Chemo

I was too tired to post yesterday, after another busy one!

I need my line flushing weekly, ordinarily you wait in on that day for the District Nurses to come but that would of course mean I'm unable to plan anything else for that day. This way I get to go into work before and after. And to be honest my first (and last) experience of waiting for the District Nurse wasn't very positive. She rang me and told me they were too busy and wouldn't be able to come.

Although as you will see in the clip trying to actually park at the hospital is easier said than done (N.B. I wasn't holding the phone while filming it was in the cradle!).

Since the line was flushed (saline gets syringed through to check it's still 'open' and they check they can still draw blood from it) it's been really sore (tender and uncomfortable even to the touch) I'm just helping it settles tomorrow but we shall see.

So Day 7 I was shattered and Day 8 I'm hoping is the turning point, as it has been the previous 2 cycles  and from Day 9 I start to feel myself again. Both boys hav been off school ill which has been tricky. Obviously looking after them, whilst trying not to catch anything but also not wanting to have any more time off work.

I also took Jack for his first counselling session. After not wanting to go in it seemed to go well, as he was quite cheerful when he came out and I took him for a special tea together.

The Reality of being treated for Breast Cancer - Part 7 - Post Chemo Day 6

So off the hard drugs now and on the homeward straight! Back to work today which was a welcome distraction. I saw numerous lovely colleagues who enquired as to how I was doing and also taught for a few hours before getting on with other administrative work.

My mouth feels like it's been burnt again, especially the roof and everything you eat tastes like furry cardboard!

Sadly by the time I'd done some Mum Taxiing after work and spent my gymnastics 'waiting time' hanging about in Seacroft Tesco, the bone pains were so overwhelming. So on reaching home this evening all I could do was lie down, resort to codeine and put heat packs the affected areas. But these will reduce now that the final G-CSF injection has been given and the chemo will gradually get further away and hopefully when it's done it's work, out of my system.

Need some zzzzzzzzzzz so I'll check in again tomorrow :-)

The Reality of being treated for Breast Cancer - Part 6 - Post Chemo Hell

So the last couple of days have been pretty hellish, hence the title of my latest Vlog Post 'Post Chemo Hell' anyone who's been through or watched their loved one go through this will be able to relate. It's so hard because you're taking all the drugs to counteract the side effects of the other drugs and it's a vicious circle to be honest.

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I ended up having to pay a visit to Ward 95 at St James' yesterday. You ring the switchboard and ask for The Oncology Bleepholder and a CNS advises you over the phone. You have to take an overnight bag in case they admit you ( I had no intention of letting that happen!) Although to be honest by  the time we got there I was the colour of their magnolia walls and couldn't have cared less.

They were terribly understaffed, as most places are these days so I had to wait an age to be seen by a Dr, after two seperate ones who were reviewing my notes got called away. We finally got seen and felt listened too.

We're coping with this, and it's knock on effects to us, in our own way and thankfully have tonnes of medical and non-medical friends and family to help and advise 👍🏻

My Dad and Carole thankfully came to be with me yesterday, so Sean was able
to take the big kids and do his fundraising, whilst Dawn took Small off my hands for the day and night. So they took me into hospital and stayed several hours until I was able to escape with more painkillers and some oral antibiotics for the possible line infection. My Auntie Jan came for the 2nd time this week and was on ironing duty thanks so much 😘

They also gave me morphine due to the bone pain caused by the G-CSF injections http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancers-in-general/treatment/cancer-drugs/gcsf and some to bring home. At least it worked  😬 And enabled me to crash out and sleep!

Today has been better and I had the last of the 5 injections 💪🏻

More #TeamVicki arrivals and lifts, sleepovers etc since Friday for the kids, thanks once again lovely friends and family 😘😝

The Reality of being treated for Breast Cancer - Part 5 - Post Chemo Day 3

Well it's 3 days since I had my last round of chemo and things are going pretty much as expected, which is a 'good' thing I think. 

Huge raft of drugs - steroids, pain killers, anti sickness etc to try and keep on top of everything and me out of hospital this time around. 

3 lots of GCSF injections done http://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/treating/supportive-and-other-treatments/supportive-therapies/g-csf.html to stimulate the bone marrow to produce more blood cells to counteract infection, anaemia etc This creates quite bad bone pain especially where there are bigger surface areas e.g. Pelvis and thigh bone. Coupled with the bone pain caused by one of the chemo drugs it hits hard. They get injected into your stomach. Thankfully I have a friend come and do it, so we arrange a mutually convenient time rather than waiting in all day for The District Nurses to come.

Long days and nights it felt like I woke every five minutes in the night! Keep your fingers crossed for  me for a better one tonight.

Yet again today wonderful friends bringing soup, meals, flowers and plenty of goodies!! Thanks for the virtual hugs, messages and gifts from all over the world #TeamVicki is awesome!

The Reality of being treated for Breast Cancer - Part 4 - Post Chemo Day 1

Bit of a rough day, got worse as it's gone on. Felt quite upbeat this morning when Fran and the Gang popped over for a visit.

#TeamVicki have been awesome once again with their visits and deliveries of lasagne, soup, casserole, cake, flowers, doing ironing and washing up, not to mention school pick ups and drop offs and loads more that my chemo brain is failing to recall. But a huge heartfelt thank you again, we couldn't make it without you....well it would be a far more chaotic, messy set-up with activities missed, take away or fishfingers on offer to eat!!

A raft of symptoms today ranging from sweats to shakes. Completely zombified by early evening again. Bad stomach (I was told that the Docetaxel is very harsh on your stomach), reflux, irritability, some nausea. Tonnes of hair shedding, ugh it's everywhere - even in food or drinks when you go to have some. All over the keyboard...everywhere. It was the best decision ever having it cut into a short style to avoid the terrible upset that I went through last time I went through chemotherapy. But the cold cap has worked well so far for me and massively slowed down the hair loss. Nair and razors are already an (unmissable) thing of the past!!!

2am Thursday 9th March - Dosing on the couch and desperately wanting to sleep yet the steroids practically make it impossible. So it feels like I'm in some sort of surreal dream world. My friend Deborah called over this evening and if I remember rightly I could barely even speak to her I was so confused and 'out of it' (sorry chick!) And when Russell and Catherine came bearing more food and flowers I think I was the grumpiest person on the planet (sorry to you two as well!) #therealityofcancertreatment

The reality of being treated for Breast Cancer -Part 3 - Chemo Day

Chemo day dawns. I had a Hickman Line fitted in January which enables the nurses to take blood, give me drugs (chemotherapy, anti sickness and fluids when dehydrated)

I have found it tricky to get a suitable dressing that doesn't irritate my skin, quite badly at times. The lovely nurses, especially Carol (you'll see her in the YouTube clip) in pre-assessment have been on the case and the one below is mainly tolerable!!! But as you can see from the picture even the micropore tape is irritating the skin....a constant battle!!

Last time I had chemo I didn't have a central line and had terrible problems with veins, ending up

with my final chemo in my foot. Far from ideal!

So this was certainly the best option psycholog   - ically this time around and has already proved to be my best friend! When I was admitted after Round 1 with severe side effects from the chemo - dehydration, sickness and bone pain they were able to give me fluids, pain relief and anti sickness drugs quickly without the difficulty of finding a vein and inserting a cannula. This time around they can also hook up the chemo drugs.I have a stitch in my neck that hadn't dissolved where they inserted the line and have needed

antibiotics as it started to get infected. So they managed to get some out yesterday and the rest hopefully today as you will see!

The chemo drugs I am having this time around are Docetaxel http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancers-in-general/treatment/cancer-drugs/docetaxel

and Carboplatin 

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancerinformation/cancertreatment/treatmenttypes/chemotherapy/individualdrugs/carboplatin.aspx

There are a raft of side effects from both drugs, with hair loss being one of them from the Docetaxel. So I'm trying the cold cap to retain my hair for as long as possible. It helps about 50% of people retain about 50% of hair. It's definitely working as I have lost the rest of my body hair. Looking on the bright side no shaving legs and underarms and no Nair in sight!

My head hair is shedding after each treatment so I've now got a wig and would shave it if it becomes patchy. It isn't losing the hair itself that's hard it's that currently I still have my anonymity and privacy. You can hide your pain, sickness and upset when nipping in the garage to pay or when teaching a class but once the hair's gone everyone knows your business. And aren't afraid to question you about it....even complete strangers. Believe me I've been there before unfortunately. This technology wasn't available for me to try 25 years ago.

My friends have been coming with me and Sean sometimes too. Including one of my oldest friends - Ainsley (we have been friends since we were 7 and 8 years old in Primary School) She was there by my side the first time and is again this time. It means a lot.

I am in hospital for several hours every 3 weeks for this treatment and the following video (click on the YouTube link below)will give a good idea of what happens. As it stands I will be having 6 cycles and this was my third.